I had my tarot cards read for the first time in Lisbon last week. I have always wanted to have my cards read because of my love for the spiritual and magical. It was such an awesome experience (10/10 would recommend), and what I liked about it was that it’s just food for thought about your present. It wasn’t a statement about your future or any sort of “prediction.” It simply allows you to mull over something that may not have come to the surface yet, or something that already has and you’re just not sure how to proceed. Tarots aim to help you assess your present and it’s up to you if you want it to impact your future. My cards were The Emperor, Death, an The Fool; all very strong cards. My reader interpreted them as that I had an oppressive force on my life that was causing me to not have any direction in my present. Also, that I’m in a time where I can be free and let go a little bit and just have fun. I felt like this was really accurate to my present situation and it was really helpful in clarifying some feelings I was having. I did feel like I was lacking direction. All my friends know exactly what they want to do after college, and I only knew a general direction but nothing specific. The reason I think I wasn’t able to find my direction was because I did have an oppressive force on my mind. At first I thought it was specific people in my life, but today I realized that that force was self-doubt. I never felt good enough or like I deserved to fulfill my dreams, and as a result I never actually thought about my dreams and visualized them, which means I never could move towards them. I was so afraid of failing that I never built something to fail at. Living in fear, plagued by self-doubt is no way to live. Failure is a crucial part of success. Mistakes are just learning opportunities that make us stronger in the end. I need to step out of my comfort zone, and take risks that could end up making me happy and successful; take risks in my career and start realizing my dreams.
I am so thankful for this experience abroad. It’s giving me the opportunity to discover myself apart from all the things that held me back at home. I am able to step outside myself and into a new culture, which gives me the perspective I need to understand myself and who I want to become.