Thoughts On Being In a Relationship In My Twenties


If you follow me on Snapchat or Instagram, then you know the 21st was me and Chandler’s three year anniversary. It’s crazy to think that we’ve been together basically for 1/7 of our entire lives. It’s definitely felt like three years, but three amazing years.

I feel really lucky to have someone as good as him in my life. But, I won’t bore you with the gushy details.

I really wanted to talk about people’s misconceptions about being in a relationship in your twenties..

It really annoys me when people say that I shouldn’t be in a relationship because I’m only 21. Firstly, because I hate when people tell me how to live my life. I’m all about giving advice, but the second someone tells me I’m living my life wrong I immediately stop listening.

But, I don’t want to tell anyone how to live either. I totally get why people encourage twenty-somethings not to be in serious relationships, mostly because they don’t know themselves yet and it’s almost impossible to commit yourself to someone if you don’t even know yourself first.

Nonetheless, I hate when people say things like, being in a relationship hinders your youth. Bullshit. Chan and I do all the same stuff that other people our age do, we just don’t hook up with other people…. It’s not that strange.

Nonetheless, I just wanted to share why being in a longterm relationship has worked for me.

Chandler and I were only 18 when we got together and we’ve been doing long distance ever since, which is not easy. This time in London together is actually the longest time we’ve ever spent together in the same place. People always ask me how we handle long distance, because it is not for everyone. Firstly, it’s because it’s all we’ve ever known. Also, because we were so young and we were both discovering who we were, so being long distance gave us the space that we needed to grow as people on our own, but also to still be there to support each other when we needed it.

I have this really strong feeling that if he and I actually went to the same college that we probably would have broken up. I always felt that Chandler was so secure in himself and he was so sure about what he wanted to do in the future. But, I was still searching (still am) for that sense of security in myself. Not to mention that I had really no idea what I wanted to do with my life.

I would sometimes get jealous of Chandler, even when we were in different states, because he was so sure of the future, and I was petrified of my own unknown. So, I know that if I was confronted by that every day, in person, I would have felt stifled and suffocated and I definitely would’ve found the nearest exit.

It’s quite difficult to put how happy and glad I am in my decision to be with Chan into a sentence or two. I guess I’m just lucky to have someone who inspires me to not only follow my dreams, but also inspires me to be the best person that I can be. And I wouldn’t trade that for any guy at any time in my life.

I also think it was super important that when we started dating in high school, we didn’t force it. We didn’t anticipate that three years later we would be here. We got here because it felt right and we let our relationship progress naturally, taking it day by day. We both made each other happy enough that we weren’t into the idea of anyone else.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that just because people think that this way isn’t the right way to be in one’s twenties, doesn’t mean they’re right. Those same people probably have regrets about their twenties, we all do. But for me, Chandler, and my time with him, will never be one of those regrets.

So, if you’re happy in your relationship, then don’t throw that away just because of someone else’s opinions. On the other hand, if you’re happy being single then do that. At the end of the day, do you despite all the noise.

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